By lupe, Tuesday, March 10, 2009 02:14:02 PM
.com Monday, December 17, 2007 Newspaper article full version In 3 more days it will have been two months since Meli's death, and her departure pains me today just as it did that very moment that i found her cold and lifeless. It is as if each second of my life someone is cutting open my heart in two and adding salt to that wound. It feels as if my soul died with her. Every time that I go into her room, which is countless times a day, I relive that horror of her leaving; I ask God where he was. Why didn't he allow me to save her? Why didn't he let me find her in time? Why didn't he choose me to take her place? I would have been ready to do that for her; I would do the same for any of my other children. As I write this, I am in her bedroom asking for answers to questions as I read over letters that she left me at different times. I tremble from pain and from anger at the futility of it all. It is so ironic, just a few months ago she and I had a long conversation about life, death, injustice, and the hypocrisy with which she was living through at that time;the pain that her boyfriend and another teen caused her. I remember that I told her: "Look, this flower; it is very pretty and so are you. Neither you nor any one else should cry over someone. You can do better than that." Her answer was: "It is not fairl everything that is happening to me. I hate going to school. I hate the schools here in Andrews. If you don't have money, if you're not the son or daughter of a rich person, if you are not of the right color, and if you are not the teacher's pet then you are nothing. You are left out. And they take away what you once had an what you worked so hard to achieve." I told her that in life nothing was fair; but, but that there was always an answer, and that things had a way of working out. I told her that death was no solution. She smiled at me and said: "Mami, there is no answer in standing up for myself against some people, I was sent to Saturday school. In cheer leading I was taken out even though I used to get up at 4:00 am to get ready to go to practice; then they replaced me with someone who used to miss countless times. But since she was seen as more favorable. Since then my world started crashing. I sure hope Crystal doesn't have to go through this" "It also isn't fair, Mami, all the times you have gone to school asking for help and they don't give it to you. The school does things as it sees fit. It is like my coach said when I lost my place at Nationals and was placed as an alternate, 'I hope it's ok because if not, you can get out. There are several that can take your place.'" "You see, Mami. I am tired of being hurt, tired of constantly coming home crying. I am tired of putting on a happy face and pretending that nothing matters after being hurt countless times. I lock myself in my room so that no one sees my pain." Many saw my daughter; she went through thousands of things, but only I saw her tears, her pain and her disenchantment. Many people contributed to her decision. Even I myself contributed to it because in the beginning when I found the first letters some months back in which she said goodbye, I did ask for help. That person that I reached to for help told me: "I guarantee that she is not going to do anything. She just wants attention." I hope that professional who told me that saw the obituary so that she can see if my daughter is now getting her attention. I wonder if all that is sufficient for that person. If she is paying, maybe she will not give such advice again. Hopefully the school is paying closer attention. Meli with her death, ironic as it is, has saved already more than one life. She has also opened a Pandora's box. Andrews is going to realize that indeed there is a problem in our schools with some of the personnel, some of the leaders, and with our youth. Like Meli said: "If we all dropped the act and the injustice; if instead we worked together, we would change not only Andrews but the entire world." I remember her smiling as she told me: "Why can't we all instead be friends, Mami?" I only hope that through her death others can identify their own feelings. If they too are suffering, hopefully they will not ignore it because the pain will remain. Choosing to ignore problems and pain will not make them go away. The problem will grow each day like a monster. So I ask that everyone help our youth. Don't allow a single young person to die in this manner. Don't let another mother die from pain as she continues living. Right now I am not sure hot to go about living; I sometimes don't want to go on. My life has been changed forever. I feel empty. I am in tears and in pain. I do not wish this on my worst enemy. Right now I should be saving for her Christmas present which was going to be the down payment on her new Avalanche. Instead, I'm saving for her tombstone. I should be seeing that her college applications be sent in on time and not putting flowers at her grave. May God hold my princess in His arms. May He give her peace and the justice that no one here wanted to give her. Melissa's mom, Lupe Flores Miss Meli Marie... 1:44 AM 10 Comments 6 Kudos 2 Kudos 1 Kudos 0 Kudos Powered by Google Translate English Albanian Arabic Bulgarian Catalan Chinese Croatian Czech Danish Dutch Estonian Filipino Finnish French Galician German Greek Hebrew Hindi Hungarian Indonesian Italian Japanese Korean Latvian Lithuanian Maltese Norwegian Polish Portuguese Romanian Russian Serbian Slovak Slovenian Spanish Swedish Thai Turkish Ukrainian Vietnamese Print Edit Remove Back to Blog List | Next Post: Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night Submit Sunny Dee™ This is a very heartfelt blog and I admire you for writing it. She was always very dedicated to everything and anything she loved. She had a good mind and heart. She saved my life . . . i choose to believe that it was her. I fell off my drum major stand and the way i fell off could've cracked my neck, i ended landing gently without any pain. I do believe that it was her the whole time. I miss her so much. I remember one of the days she came to English class crying because of what her boyfriend did to her . . . all i could do was hug her and just talk and joke with her. She threatened to super glue his locker shut. I laughed and said that we should do that. I'm very glad that i had the chance to be her friend and i took it. I know I at least did something right. ♥ I love you Mama Flores. xoxo aira Posted by Sunny Dee™ on Monday, December 17, 2007 - 8:22 PM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User] Susie Verde™ Mama Flores, I love you so much. This made me cry. It's so truthful. All Meli ever did was help those around her and try to ease our pain, yet, it seems like we tried and failed to ease the pain she felt. I hope nobody ever has to go through what all of your family & all of her friends has gone through. I love you so much. Posted by Susie Verde™ on Saturday, January 12, 2008 - 6:14 PM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User] tired of dumb ass people in my life.. my name is leeanne..and no i dont know your daughter..i stumbled onto her page by accident one day..ever since then ive been talking to luci..she is so awsome..i know how much pain your in..i myself lost a child..i lost my unborn baby..even though i didnt have the chance to hold my baby it still hurts..i would constintly hold my tummy and say i love you baby mommy and daddy cant wait to meet you..then one day its all over..you and your family are so amazing your always in my thoughts and prayers..i wish that i could have had the chance to meet your wonderful daughter but i know that she is up there playing with my baby and i couldnt be any happier..well i just thought that id drop a line to tell you that this article is beautiful..it brought tears to my eyes.. 3, leeanne Posted by tired of dumb ass people in my life.. on Saturday, February 02, 2008 - 9:23 PM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User] &* Katrina &* :] im always here for you mamma and if you ever need anything from me.. im here for you no matter what!! night threw day or time..... anything if you need to talk or anything im here !!!! i love you so much my words can not xplain how much i love and care for your family !! love katrina Posted by &* Katrina &* :] on Friday, March 07, 2008 - 9:00 PM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User] Aaron this is the first time i read this wow so true i promise i won stop trying to make the school realise wats going on i miss her so much she changed my life for ever i love you and ur fam love aaron morgan Posted by Aaron on Thursday, March 27, 2008 - 10:45 PM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User] Aaron this is the first time i read this wow so true i promise i won stop trying to make the school realise wats going on i miss her so much she changed my life for ever i love you and ur fam love aaron morgan Posted by Aaron on Thursday, March 27, 2008 - 10:45 PM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User] Aaron this is the first time i read this wow so true i promise i won stop trying to make the school realise wats going on i miss her so much she changed my life for ever i love you and ur fam love aaron morgan Posted by Aaron on Thursday, March 27, 2008 - 10:45 PM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User] Aaron this is the first time i read this wow so true i promise i won stop trying to make the school realise wats going on i miss her so much she changed my life for ever i love you and ur fam love aaron morgan Posted by Aaron on Thursday, March 27, 2008 - 10:45 PM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User] Nataliya This made me cry. Posted by Nataliya on Friday, May 02, 2008 - 6:56 PM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User] howster what inner strength you must have to write this,bless you Posted by howster on Monday, December 08, 2008 - 11:07 PM [Reply to this] [Remove] [Block User]do you have a massege for me

By Barb, Tuesday, February 17, 2009 05:10:04 PM
Hello Slyvia, I love you and what you do, it gives comfort to every one, Thank You. I was just wondering if you would be able to tell me the name of my Spirit Guide. Times have been tough lately. Its good to know we're not alone. Because some times it really feels like it. God Bless You. Barb

By Lana kay, Monday, February 16, 2009 12:15:48 AM
Dear Sylvia, My brother Jerry died march of 1977, And they rulled it a suicide, And I was wondering if this was the case. I thank you so much for this just a lot of unanswered questions for me.

By naomi, Tuesday, February 10, 2009 02:48:54 PM
Sylvias Daily Message: Try Not to Worry So Much. We all have personal, business, money and other worries that concern us. Don't let these become obesessive--often we worry about what is predesitined from our life charts.

By naomi, Tuesday, February 10, 2009 02:05:21 PM
Shirley MacLaine has a lot of books out. I can not remember which book I read of hers, that gave me the insight to, find Gods messages in daily life, from. Shirley MacLaine is very knowledgable and smart. Her Last Book out was "Sageing While Ageing", and it is her best one yet. Any of her books will inspire you. Her books are interesting, because its like reading someones diary. She a lot to say. And she also has a website. So go take a look. :)

By naomi, Tuesday, February 10, 2009 01:53:43 PM
Praying to God Daily, and waiting for answers in daily life is another tool we can use. I ask Mother and Father God for answers to lifes questions. And the answers come to me in many ways. Sometimes I will get the answer though a conversation that I have, with a person I have just met. Or the answer will come on the local radio station. Or I will be listening to the tv from another room, and the program just so happens to be what I had been questioning about a week ago. Conversations in the line up at the supermarket, that I happen to be evesdropping on, are also a way of getting answers. Shirley MacClaine is the person who I have adopted this method from, and it has served me well. Shirley MacClaine has a book out called Sageing While Ageing. It is a very good read. Good luck to everyone with your search with Mother and Father Gods help, Our Spirit Guides Help, Angels Help, and the help from the Universe. I beleive we are all a Collective Soul, helping one another at every opportunity we can. And I am Greatful for all of the Shared Love and Information we Give one another. If anyone else has Positive, and Useful Information, Please Share it. :) I Pray to God to Share Information, find answers for all of us, as swiftly as possible. To each person on this website SpiritNow.com. In the most Loving way possible. God Bless to All. Love and Light.

By naomi, Tuesday, February 10, 2009 01:40:28 PM
Dear Naomi, my name is also Naomi, I have a bit of advice for you. I did not contact my Spirit Guide immideiately. But with a lot of perseverance, staying focused ( and focus takes practice too ) and I also prayed, and asked God every night, that I would remember in the morning what I dreamt at night. And I also prayed to God for protection during the night and day as well. Eventually, someone did come to me in a dream. Just like anything you relearn, you have to practice. I say relearn, because I beleive that we all had the ability to communicate with Heaven all along. Unfortunately, we've stopped and forgotten how to practice. Luckily we are now, more aware of this tool we can use. Praying to God Daily, and waiting for answers in daily life is another tool. In your dreams, you may be lucky enough to catch someone elses message to you. That has happened to me, and is very interesting to reflect upon. There are different kinds of dreams though. Prophetic Dreams, Release Dreams, Wish Dreams, Problem Solving Dreams, Astral Visits, Lucid Dreams, maybe other types for all I know. If you want to contact your spirit guide try reading "Contacting Your Spirit Guide" and if you want to know more about your dreams, read, "Sylvia Brownes Book of Dreams". This is one avenue to look at. Good Luck, and Keep praying to Mother and Father God for answers. Everyone has something to contribute from what they have learned in life. I love to hear everyones opinion. Sending Love and Light. Naomi

By hazel, Saturday, February 07, 2009 01:45:07 AM
sylvia you are so wonderful in what you do. your books have told me so many things i knew in my heart it is such an awesome thing for me,i feel like a lost person i wish iknew the right question to ask you , i am in a desert i want to move forward but i dont what is it that blocks me what is my porpose i know in many ways ive had a hard life but i also know how blessed i am .thank you i love you hazel

By Beverley, Thursday, February 05, 2009 04:23:23 PM
To Darcy- i would like to say that all will be well shortly, but sadly that is not the case ,you will not wake up tomorrow and evrything will be alright.Yes, but i can tell you that you are not alone ,even if it feels that way now. I have been through simmilar things in my life but my drug of choice was alcohol, drinking to numb the pain. I was in a horrible relationship,with a monster truly, lost two babies, was physically abused, was homeless. Tried suicide,was hospilalized. felt worthless.But i crawled my way out of the darkness, it took awhile,it took turning to a higher power, while also impowering myself, developing friendships, learning to respect myself, learning to lean on others ,and God.First I worked on my health,then getting a job to feel self supporting,and then, this was very hard... moving on. That does not mean giving up , but being in a better position to fight back.when you feel emotionally stable, and physically strong, and you've conquered your demons. There is such help out there, if you reach for it.After that you will get the first glimmer of hope, then you will see something start to happen for your good. (Believe) even if it's hard. I came out the other side,crawled out of that dark tunnel, and I found people ,waiting to dance with me in the sunlight. Standing much stronger than the wind that blew me over.Please reach out, to your family, if none,to a church , to a friend,a Doctor, (one helped me.) I wish you loads of blessings with all my heart.*- Beverley

By zenia, Monday, February 02, 2009 06:40:51 PM
Hello Slyiva About 3 months ago I think that I meant my Sprit guide. He appear in my dream asking me if I seem my freind? I said no they he said I guess you don't what to see him. Then I said I been ready to see him. Then he said close your eyes and he cover my eyes but my son had awaking me up from my sleep.I never seem Nico again that is what I call my sprit guide. I don't know his name so I call him Nico. Slyiva was that my spirt guide?